


Ouran High School Host Club Presents: The Tale of the Lady Host

by JoyHeart



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Anxiety, Awkwardness, F/F, Femslash, HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS, M/M, Yaoi, Yuri, bad advice from stupid boy hosts, big dumb lesbians trying to impress cute unknowing girls and sucking at it, female host, girls who like the girls, haruhi is so fucking done, hot but doesnt know how to use it, original character is a giant fucking nerd, that somehow works out a lot, unintentional attractiveness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-20 23:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4805879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoyHeart/pseuds/JoyHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been Tamaki and Kyoya's last year at Ouran, and Haruhi and the Hitachiin twins next-to-last year, for a couple of months now and while Honey and Mori are still around to host most of the time, the host club has hit a lull in traffic. The girls simply aren't coming like they used to. There's a few reasons for that, of course, but one of them is the now frequent presence of a college girl who likes to use the third floor library to study while wearing a boy's high school uniform and is developing a fan club of younger girls who like to gather around and stare at her while she pours over law books.</p><p>Kyoya decides he is going to recruit her to the Host Club to draw back business, and when Kyoya wants something he tends to get it. Haruhi thinks they should leave her alone, but one look at this young host and Yoshiko Agano might have lost the will to refuse. That said, she doesn't know anything about hosting, or about properly wooing a young lady, and when are the male hosts ever helpful in pursuits of real love?</p><p>More often than you'd think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Dire State of the Host Club

**Author's Note:**

> There needs more gay original character fics for femslash. I am here to provide.

Welcome, Princess, to the Host Club! Come in, come in, don’t be shy! After all, what lovely young and wealthy lady such as yourself wouldn’t love to spend her leisure time surrounded by equally lovely young and wealthy men? Here you will experience what it is to have love and attention lavished upon you by our fine selection of hosts, who would you like to choose today? Would you like to know what, that is, _who_ is on the menu for you today? Well you are in luck to find our complete selection _on tap_ so to speak.

                Do you have a type? That would make things easier. We pride ourselves in having a vast selection to choose from! Perhaps you have always fantasized about the simultaneous love of two boys identical in every way and close as close could be? Perhaps a little… _too_ close for society to accept? Never fear! We have no judgement about such things, and the Hitachiin twins Hikaru and Kaoru would be more than happy to indulge you today, if you should so choose. No?

                Well perhaps you prefer a strong, silent type? While our Mori-sempai does not offer much conversation, he will no doubt listen courteously to your own worries and offer a pat on the head and a kind word when you are done! He does less business than our other hosts, so it would be possible to give you an, ah, extended session if you are so inclined? Before you answer, I should let you know that by sitting with Mori-sempai you are given a very good chance at seeing some family-adoration as he frequently must check on dear Honey-sempai, and many find his attentions on our smallest host quite charming! Though I suppose you may prefer to simply sit with Honey-sempai himself. He is a popular choice if you like the moe-boys, but of course his popularity does mean you will likely be sat with a small group of girls. He rarely gives personal attention, though with his particular set of appeals that is usually not an issue, and every sitting with Honey-sempai is guaranteed to be served with tea and cakes (though we cannot guarantee Honey-sempai will not try and succeed to take cakes from you.)

                Neither? No matter, I can see you likely prefer someone more traditional in your host experience. That said, Tamaki Suoh _is_ our most popular host and president, and nearly always insists on giving personal attention so the queue for him is rather long.  A Host King indeed, with the looks of an Adonis and a personality… ah… to match. If you would prefer him, I might be able to pencil in a short session today with the proper incentive but we have a few openings in two weeks if you prefer.

                Really? Still not your type? Well, if you would prefer yours truly I suppose I could accommodate. I tend not to take as many clients as my compatriots because of my many duties as vice president of the club, but if you content yourself to follow me I would be happy to give you a small tour and talk to you of the promotions offered in the next few months, so that I might have an excuse to spend extra time with you of course, my lady.

                … right, well, I would not dare assume anything! Are you then here for Mr. Haruhi Fujioka? He is still our newest host despite being here for a year now, of course still a novelty for his commoner status as well. As the “natural” type, he comes complete with a tragic backstory, a down-to-earth and earnest attitude, and good looks that, dare I say are near girlish?

                Near… isn’t near enough you say? I… see. You wouldn’t happen to be in the wrong room would you? You want the third floor library? Yes… yes she does frequent there- yes I can direct you, are you certain you wouldn’t care to look at our calendar? … yes. That’s… yes down the hall, staircase on the right, straight up, yes it’s the room at the end can’t miss it. You’re welcome, Miss…? Miss Akiyama. Doesn’t your father own- yes the Akiyama toy company of course. Well, Miss Akiyama, if you ever find need of the host club do come by again, we will welcome you. Goodbye!

*

                Kyoya Ootori pushed his glasses up his nose and turned to the wall to allow a frown to darken his face. Another waste of time, it seemed. And that was a shame, because their quotas had been lowering significantly since the start of term. While Haruhi was still a novelty, she obviously wasn’t as much of a draw as she once was. The other hosts still did business with most of their regulars, but a few of those had even been drawn away. Some of this was merely a lack of interest from the younger years who were now intimidated somewhat by an entire club of upper year males, and some of it was a general lull from the girls who felt they had seen all the host club had to offer.

                But there was of course a third factor that was working against them. When the last of the guests had left for the day, Tamaki looked at Kyoya with wide eyes and the Shadow King shook his head slowly in response.

                “I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!” Tamaki wailed, tearing at his hair, “I know Honey and I did steady business all day, but I could see Mori only had two young ladies, Kyoya entertained no one at all, the twins had half as many at their table as usual, and Haruhi had her usual three that she had to entertain the entire time, NO ONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED SO MUCH TIME WITH HARUHI BUT HER DEAR FATHER!”

                “Are you still doing this? You’re not my father. And since I only pay off debt per guest and not per hour, I’m not exactly happy either sempai, but there’s nothing we can really do if there’s no one else waiting for a turn,” Haruhi stated with an exasperated look on her face. She wondered if she would have time to run to the grocery store before going home today, she wanted some fresh fish if she could get there in time…

                “WAAAH! MOMMY! HARUHI IS AS HOPELESS AS HER DADDY!” Tamaki wailed, throwing himself at Kyoya who side stepped and allowed the blond to crash to the ground. He sniffled there. “Mommy, why don’t the girls want us anymore? Have our dashing good looks already failed us in our old age?”

                “Hardly,” Kyoya snorted and the twins chortled as well.

                “I don’t know about that, I think I see a few gray hairs on our beloved King’s head…” Kaoru giggled. Tamaki shrieked.

                “MOMMY IS IT TRUE?!”

                Kyoya smirked down at him. “But Daddy, they make you look distinguished.”

                “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH MOMMY THINKS I LOOK OLD TOO!”

                “Please don’t talk like this…” Haruhi flushed, looking quite awkward. “Anyway, you don’t look any different than usual.”

                Tamaki then tackled Haruhi, snuggling and praising her as she tried in vain to push him off. Eventually Mori came to intervene and pulled him off.

                “Well,” Honey spoke up seriously from Mori’s shoulders, “I mean, there’s lots of reasons why there’s not as much interest this year. A lot of the girls Mori and I brought in last year graduated with us and went to different schools. The younger girls are still a bit intimidated to come to this place alone and so usually come in groups to my table or the twins. Haruhi might get some more by second semester too, since now that some of the girls coming for us can see she’s pretty safe too.”

                “What are you saying?” Tamaki asked, “Why would those young flowers by afraid of someone like me?”

                “Because you’re sketchy probably…” Haruhi muttered. Sadly Tamaki heard and started wailing at Kyoya again who sighed irritably.

                “Well, I can safely point to one cause anyway,” Kyoya said after Tamaki calmed down a bit.

                “Yeah? What’s that?” Hikaru asked with mild interest.

                Kyoya adjusted his glasses again. “Her name is Yoshiko Agano. She attends the college located on campus that Honey and Mori-sempai go to.”

                “Why would that be a problem?” Haruhi asked with a head tilt, “I never even heard of her before.”

                “Well, she’s new. She graduated from a high school in another district apparently, although I haven’t bothered to find out which one yet. She likes to use the third floor library in this building to study, it appears she is studying law,” Kyoya said, going through what appeared to be notes.

                “Well, we have something in common, then,” Haruhi shrugged, “But that doesn’t explain what’s wrong with her that would hurt the host club.”

                “There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s a nice girl,” Honey insisted. The twins, on the other hand, looked rather disdainful.

                “She’s taking our guests is what she’s doing!”

                “I USED to overhear girls talking about how attractive WE were, and now they keep talking about HER!”

                “First it was, _who do you think she is_? And then _isn’t she so mysterious?_ And that became _I think she probably has a pretty heart, but she’s scared to let people in to see it!”_

                “Urgh, and then they gush about where they think she gets her hair done, and why they think she wears a boy’s uniform…”

                “Why don’t they just ask her?” Haruhi asked the twins.

                “Cause she’s stuck up,” Kaoru snorted. Haruhi thought that was ironic coming from him.

                “And kinda scary,” Hikaru admitted. Haruhi looked about to argue when Mori of all people stepped in.

                “Actually, I think she’s just shy. In class she doesn’t talk to anyone much either.”

                “I thought she had her share of boys confessing to her,” Kyoya said idly.

                “Um, she’s pretty so that’s true,” Honey hummed, folding his arms, “But I’m pretty sure ah… she would prefer the Zuka club to the Host club. She mostly throws confession letters away and avoids being alone with people.”

                “That doesn’t mean that she isn’t interested in boys necessarily,” Kaoru pointed out.

                “Is that why she comes to the high school? To avoid boys?” Haruhi wondered.

                “Well, she’s succeeding!” Tamaki snapped, “She has all the attention of all the girls in high school now!”

                “Hardly all of them. Maybe about two dozen total,” Kyoya shrugged.

                “Why would they want to fawn over some girl anyway?” Tamaki frowned, looking pensive until the sound of a giant motor filled the room. The hosts turned to see rising from the floor a great platform in the shape of a cake, the top of which stood the silhouettes of figures in a tuxedo and bridal gown, each with their face in shadow. When the motor stopped, the face of the bride lit up and the sound of loud dramatic laughter filled the air.

                “I’M GLAD YOU ASKED!” Renge declared, twirling in her wedding dress before pointing eagerly at the hosts who would never really get used to this. “The wedding day, of course, a day that most young girls dream about. The beautiful bride and the dashing groom, ready to pledge undying love to one another! A wholesome dream of true love. BUT! What of the girls for whom men are simply too terrifying? Do they not wish for an older sister to lead them through life? What of the girls for whom men simply do not ring true as the attractive specimens they are? What of the girls that are simply bored of men, and look for something more taboo dare I say… riské? For them, our dreamt-of dashing groom transforms into… the FEMALE SEME!”

                Here the lights rise on the groom, the face is distinctly feminine and the hair tumbles down long and lush around the mannequin’s shoulders. Renge squeals and throws her back against the tuxedo-ed front of the ‘groom’. The hosts below her winced slightly at the flushed face and excited sighs coming from their self-proclaimed “manager”.

                “Female seme? They have those?” Kaoru questioned with a skeptical expression. Renge was broken from her squeals.

                “OF COURSE THERE ARE!” Renge moved into her ‘explanation mode’ where she gestured at charts and images that existed only in her own mind. “Of course, when most people speak of semes and uke’s, they are referring to yaoi and boy-love with a dominant partner and a submissive partner respectively fulfilling roles society traditionally assigns to men and women in heterosexual relationships. Yaoi is usually far more popular than yuri, or girl-love manga, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YURI SHOULD BE OVER LOOKED! Beginning in the 20th century, yuri in Japan followed the western tradition of showing female homosexual affections in a tragic and negative light in order to get them published in a largely homophobic atmosphere, and truly many still follow that tradition today. But there’s also many school-girl romance manga out there to enjoy such as Strawberry Panic and Girlfriends, and more genres are being added although admittedly at a slower pace than yaoi. That might be because straight girls like seeing two boys express their forbidden love, but are often unsure about how they feel for girls who do the same.”

                “Of course they shouldn’t! Yuri manga and femslash fanfiction is gaining in popularity as these ideas are more accepted, and contain many cute stories about girls supporting each other and growing to show each other the same undying love any fan of romance and true love can appreciate! But because of the popularity of yaoi, yuri tends to follow its trends, including that of the seme/uke dynamic. While real girl-love relationships don’t frequently have a super dominant partner and a super innocent girl submissive, it can still be a fun trope to play with! In fact, I’m exploring many online yuri dating simulators recently, just to explore this phenomena since I heard the tales of the lovely Miss Agano.”

                “And your findings?” Kyoya asked, drawing stares as it was surprising he would show any interest in what Renge had to say.

                “Oh yes, THOSE…” Renge here pulled out a large poster-sized wall scroll and unfurled it in front of the tuxedo-clad mannequin. On the poster was a candid photo of a young lady perhaps as tall as Kyoya. She had long black hair tied high on her head in a ponytail that still reached her mid-back. She had high cheekbones but a soft jawline and rounded chin. Her nose was short and upturned, and her eyes were a piercing aqua-blue hidden partially by thick-framed black rectangular glasses. Contrary to Honey and Mori insisting she was a college student and Kyoya asserting she attended a different high school, she was wearing a blue-jacket male Ouran high school uniform that seemed to have been tailored to accommodate her prominent, though not too unusually large, breasts. She held a thick volume under her arm that appeared to be a law text book and was pushing open the door to the third floor library. Haruhi thought she looked a bit anxious, Tamaki thought she looked vaguely sinister, and Kyoya smiled a smile that hid any potential thoughts from view of the public.

                “Well, it’s obvious at a glance that Agano, Yoshiko fits the aesthetic for the female seme. She’s tall, dark complexion and hair, and tends toward male clothes. Her glasses and slightly angular face give her a feminine cool-type appearance that would be counterpoint to characters like Kyoya in traditional dating simulators. But it goes beyond that! Her deep ocean-blue eyes are often troubled as she studies-“

                “Well, law’s a hard subject,” Haruhi groused under her breath and was ignored this time.

                “Her backstory is unknown, but given we know that she had an older brother that used to attend Ouran and hasn’t been heard from since, we can assume her past is tragic, adding to her sordid past that she will tell only to the one who manages to pass her seemingly cold and aloof exterior and reaches her soul!”

                “Her brother used to go here? So… she’s wearing his uniform?” Honey asked softly, “Why hasn’t anyone heard from him?”

                “Well… we don’t actually know, I mean, we know there was a boy that graduated six years ago with the same last name…” Renge admitted and the hosts sighed. “ANYWAY! She rejects the advances of boys, and when the cutest girls try to talk to her, she’s quick to hide her face, likely blushing from all her taboo and wonderful yuri feelings! If only we could reach her soul, then this girl-love school romance could get underway!”

                “People aren’t manga characters, you know,” Haruhi groaned. She would never get through to Renge. She tried so hard, too.

                “This is very interesting, what would you suggest we do about this?” Kyoya asked smoothly, face revealing nothing but perhaps mild amusement. Haruhi sensed trouble. That was his favourite manipulation face.

                “THAT’S EASY!” Renge shouted to the heavens, “It’s clear that the girls of today are bored with simple attractive men as hosts. To get the girls with a taste for some experimentation, YOU MUST RECRUIT YOSHIKO AGANO INTO THE HOST CLUB!”

                Tamaki seemed to explode. “NO NO NO! THERE IS NO WAY, DO YOU THINK I WOULD JUST INVITE ZUKA CLUB MEMBERS INTO HERE? THIS IS A REPUTABLE ESTABLISHMENT!”

                Kyoya hummed, “Times are changing, King. You want to bring in new ladies, and with a, ah, change of pace…” he side eyed Renge as she disappeared into the ground again still laughing and cleared his throat, “An openly Lady Host…” he blinked at Haruhi who folded her arms. “Well, it would certainly draw the business of the girls Renge mentioned. And extra variety can’t hurt.”

                “SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!” Tamaki shouted.

                “Neither do Honey and Mori.”

                “ALUMNI COUNT!”

                “Well, I suppose Haruhi will just have to stay in boys clothes forever then,” Kyoya sighed. Haruhi raised an eyebrow.

                “W-what are you talking about?” Tamaki asked with a frown.

                “I only mean to say that if we had a Lady Host as a test run and it proved popular, we could potentially out Haruhi’s gender, and have her entertain girls dressed as one of them.”

                Kyoya hummed as he sat on the sofa and waited for the dots to connect. Haruhi’s face got redder as the twins looked more and more excited and even Mori blushed. Then visions of Haruhi in women’s wear finally dawned on Tamaki and he jumped into the air.

                “GENTLEMEN, I HAVE AN IDEA!”

                “And what would that be?” Kyoya asked dutifully as Haruhi face palmed.

                “OUR NEXT MISSION IS THIS, TO INDUCT OUR NEW FAMILY MEMBER YOSHIKO AGANO INTO THE HOST CLUB!”

                Haruhi shook her head and hoped that poor girl was ready for this ‘family’ train to slam into her life too.


	2. From Today You Are A Lady Host!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsumi Akiyama wants nothing more to look at her beloved goddess Miss Agano every day... until those meddling Host Club members got involved!

Natsumi Akiyama was very sure that she was becoming slowly obsessed with Yoshiko Agano. This was largely unfortunate, given that Miss Agano likely had no idea that she actually existed. Also, since Natsumi was only a first year Ouran high school student and Miss Agano was in college already, surely she wouldn’t be interested in such an immature girl… but she couldn’t help it. She was just so beautiful! Not to mention mature, mysterious, and studious, probably intelligent, kind, and caring too! Oh if only she could get up the courage to talk to her!

                Instead, when Miss Agano looked up from her law books and notes that were spread around the large oak study table, and Natsumi squeaked and hid behind her own text book, uncaring that it was upside down, before she could make eye contact with those absolutely stunning blue eyes that meant she was probably mixed and oh, how exotic was that? Anyway, she side eyed her friend Rei Tsukino who was the one who had told her where the Agano-sempai fanclub met to watch their lovely star in her usual position under the window of the third floor library, bathed in the light of the afternoon sun and looking like… oh like a goddess probably… that was good. Natsumi jotted that down in her notes to use in her poetry later. The fan club had appreciated her literary talent and she was now the resident poet and tasked with creating frequent works celebrating… well. That was hardly what Natsumi should be concentrating on.

                Rei was the only one of the girls still peeping cautiously at Miss Agano as she scanned the tables of young Ouran ladies who were all suddenly extremely engrossed in whatever lay in front of them. As soon as Miss Agano’s eyes returned to her own book, Rei coughed lightly and all eyes returned to the lady at the window. Natsumi smiled softly. She was so lucky to be friends with Rei-chan! When she had spied Miss Agano in the entrance hall a few days prior, her heart had nearly stopped, but she had never thought she might be up in this dusty place all the time! Rei-chan was sympathetic to her little romantic heart however, and had led her to this wonderful place where Natsumi might spend hours drinking in the sight of her beloved Agano-sempai to her heart’s content before she would leave and the fan club would collapse into deep discussion of anything Miss Agano related.

                And there was such wonderful speculations to be made! But most of the real facts came from the few girls who had been brave enough to venture over to her table on the pretext of asking where books might be located (to the mumbled response of, “I don’t know, I bring my own books to study”), to asking law is a difficult thing to study (“Ah, it’s okay if you work hard, I guess,” as she hid behind her book and Miss Ito swore she saw a tinge of red to her ears when she did), and finally by asking if she went to school there, (“Umm… no I’m from the college, this place is just… quieter”).

                These were all important information to learn, though all girls had bailed on conversation quickly after that when Miss Agano failed to really even look at them. At first some girls had thought she was being vane or thought of them as foolish young maidens who could not interest her mature mind, but then Rei-chan had suggested that she was just shy around so many pretty girls and everyone had squealed and accepted that. If only Renge-sempai had managed to find her student file like she had tried to, that would have given them more to work from.

                Well, Natsumi had thought, perhaps they were all foolish girls. But since it was all based around dreaming anyway, it could hardly hurt to dream of something sweet and caring. It’s not as though this spying would ever amount to anything. No one would ever really try to approach Miss Agano, and as she was in college none of them could hope to be in a situation allowing them to actually interact with her properly.

                She had thought this, only to have the door of the library suddenly burst open and… _they_ strode in as though they owned the place. Some of the fan club started to swoon or whisper excitedly, the ones who had once frequented the music room where the Ouran Host Club gathered. Natsumi had nothing against the Host Club or the girls who enjoyed it, but for obvious reasons it had never really approached her interests, she had only stumbled there by mistake on the day she had first tried to find the third floor library. It had been as she had expected, and she didn’t waste much time there. At least the boy in the glasses had been helpful in finding the right place.

                Back to the moment, Natsumi watched in surprise as the group of seven boys marched across the floor directly toward Miss Agano, who was staring at them with wide eyes and looked rather unsettled. The hosts looked rather… well, expressions varied, but Tamaki Suoh as had been introduced to Natsumi looked extremely determined to do… something. Natsumi stiffened and sat up in her seat. If they tried to do anything to Miss Agano, she would do anything to see her to safety!

                “Miss Yoshiko Agano, is it?” Suoh said in quieted tones as he stood over her.

                “Er… yes? Can I… help you with anything?” Miss Agano asked quietly as she put down her book for the first time any of her fan club had seen and cast a wary eye on the boys that were surrounding her.

                “Princess, er, My Lady,” Suoh seemed unsure for a moment before clearing his throat and smiling, “I am pleased and delighted to inform you that after much deliberation amongst our members, we would like you to join our family!”

                There was no denying it this time, Miss Agano’s cheeks flamed at that statement. “E-excuse me? What the… what the HELL are you asking me?”

                “Oh, nothing like that, Tamaki just means he sees us all like a family and wants you to join our club!” Honey-sempai explained, the whispers from the surrounding girls reached fever pitch.

                “You… you’re in one of my classes, aren’t you?” Miss Agano squinted, “A prodigy?” She shook her head. “What club?”

                “Ah, right, ahem, MISS AGANO, starting from today, we would graciously invite you to be our resident Lady Host at the Ouran Host Club!” Suoh declared. Some girls nearly screamed, and Miss Agano looked at them in alarm before turned back to Suoh.

                “Host… club?” Miss Agano twitched, “Like… those places where girls pay to hang around with attractive men who pretend to care about them?”

                “Well, we don’t charge for entry,” the boy with the glasses… Natsumi thought he was Mr. Ootori, pointed out. “Though, we do turn a decent profit in merchandise sales.”

                “And we pride ourselves in truly caring for every young lady who enters our doors!” Suoh declared.      

                “I’m not really interested…” Miss Agano said slowly, reaching stiffly for her book. At that moment, one of the Hitachiin twins grabbed it from her and she stood quickly. “Hey! Give that back!”

                “Look,” said the twin holding the law book, “I don’t mean to sound rude, but you’re drawing our clients away.”

                “What?” Miss Agano looked aghast, “I’m not doing anything! I just come here to study after class!”

                “Yeah, and if you’d look around, you’d see a usually empty small library, with nearly every seat full of young girls with… alternative interests,” the book twin made a face.

                “That’s… I… didn’t realise…” Miss Agano was definitely blushing. She was so cute! Oh, it made Natsumi want to blush too…

                “Hey, why do you wear a boy’s high school uniform if you’re going to college?” the other twin asked suddenly.

                “I… that’s a sudden question! I just thought… if I wore…” Miss Agano looked down and shifted her feet slightly, “I thought if I was wearing a high school uniform I’d blend in more… and I had this lying around so… okay it was a stupid idea. But this is ridiculous! What does this have to do with anything?”

                “We just want you to join our family!” Suoh hurried out.

                “And if you don’t, you have to leave the high school forever and never come back, so there,” the twin with the book chimed in. There was a chorus of loud boos from the girls and one of them threw something at the twin but missed.

                “You… you don’t have the authority to do that!” Miss Agano snapped, grabbing the book back now, “And I should know, I’m studying to be a lawyer.”

                “Hey, me too, I mean, I plan to,” Mr. Fujioka said suddenly, and Miss Agano’s eyes suddenly fell on him and widened. Natsumi finally took a proper look at this “natural-type” as well and had to admit… he did look an awful lot like a girl. Well, she reminded herself, he wasn’t one so Natsumi was hardly interested. That didn’t mean Miss Agano would feel the same however, and Natsumi felt a small pain in her chest as Miss Agano tilted her head and looked nearly mesmerized by the small boy’s face. It… it was hardly fair! Not everyone had the constitution to study law!

                “That’s… ah…” Miss Agano cleared her throat, ripping her eyes from Mr. Fujioka finally, “Look, I’m not leaving, and I don’t want to join your host club. I don’t have any interest in… whatever you’re doing, and I don’t think I’d… I doubt I would be any good at… I don’t…” her voice dropped low here and the twins leaned in close to hear.

                “What was that?” Suoh asked and the twins translated… loudly.

                “SHE SAID SHE CAN’T TALK TO PRETTY GIRLS.”

                Miss Agano was a tomato as all the girls around her screamed and started flocking toward the group, grabbing at Miss Agano’s hands and promising they would do all the talking, or they just wanted to be her little sister… Natsumi tried to get close, but Rei-chan grabbed her hand and pulled her back, insisting that there was no hope. In only a couple of minutes, Miss Agano had been pulled out anyway, and Natsumi caught sight of Mr. Fujioka helping Miss Agano out of the room.

*

                Yoshiko shuddered slightly, feeling extremely overwhelmed and clutching her book as the small brunette boy got her out into the hallway. While Yoshiko had never thought so about a boy, she had felt a tremor in her chest when she had looked into his eyes. They were… very, very pretty, anyone could see that.

                “Ah, sorry about all that, I guess maybe you’ll have to find a new study spot now,” the brunette said, scratching his head and looking apologetic. “Um, my name is Fujioka by the way, Haruhi Fujioka.”

                “Oh, a girly name,” Yoshiko said and then winced, that had been rude.

                “Heh, I guess, anyway,” Fujioka smiled, and it was SO CUTE that Yoshiko’s heart thumped harder than ever, “It’s okay if you don’t want to join the host club. I’ll get those guys to leave you alone. Hey, and if you want I can give you a list of other quiet study spots I found on campus.”

                “Yes, um, yes that sounds good, thanks, I appreciate it, yeah,” Yoshiko stumbled out, feeling extremely lost. This was so weird, she NEVER had this sort of reaction with a boy before!”

                “It’s a little disappointing though…” Fujioka admitted, as he wrote out the list on a piece of note paper.

                “What is?” Yoshiko asked absently as she took the paper from him and he turned to go.

                “Well, it might have been nice to have another female host around,” he said as he walked away and turned back into the room with the mob.

                “Another…” Yoshiko’s eyes widened. A girly name… indeed… well that explained that.

                She felt a little numb with the shock of everything as she left the building and headed for home. She certainly had a lot to think about now.


	3. Kyoya's Side Quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Tamaki failed to induct Miss Agano, Kyoya realises he will have to take matters into his own hands.

Kyoya Ootori was not surprised that Miss Agano had not been receptive to Tamaki’s initial attempt to get her to join the host club. Truthfully, none of the current hosts had been easily sold on the idea, so even their beloved King shouldn’t have been surprised by her refusal. That said, when Miss Agano also refused his second and third attempts, which had involved policing the school to find where she was and even following her onto the college campus to ambush her with promises of pretty girls and training sessions, Kyoya sensed that Tamaki was in over his head trying to get her to join. And if the King was unable to do Kyoya’s bidding, the Shadow King was forced to take matters more directly into his own hands.

                What a pain.

                None the less, Kyoya knew how to get what he wanted. Or rather, he at least knew where to start looking, and he was certainly not disappointed by what he found. He finally was able to look into where Miss Yoshiko Agano went to school, and found himself largely surprised. It seemed that at one point, Miss Agano had in fact attended Ouran herself, though only the elementary school, transferring to an all-girls private school in England for middle and part of high school before suddenly returning to Japan two years ago. She had never formally completed high school, instead taking an equivalency test before applying to Ouran for college. The reasons for her sudden return were unknown, and Kyoya was a bit frustrated trying to figure that out.

                At any rate, her parents owned several moderately successful businesses and travelled in the social circles that many of the less wealthy Ouran students came from, so she was nothing terribly out of the ordinary there. What was interesting however was that she seemed to be living alone in a flat in Tokyo, and not that terribly far from Haruhi.

                This in and of itself wasn’t too strange, when the child of rich parents becomes college age they might convince their parents to fund a flat for them to get a taste of living alone, but in such a case usual parents of the Agano-level of affluence would never let their only daughter live in such a common apartment-block.

                That said, Kyoya doubted Miss Agano was the type to worry much about what her classmates thought of her living status, she hardly spoke to them anyway. No good blackmailing her about that. By digging a little further and dogging her unknowingly around the area however, Kyoya found out something very interesting.

                Miss Agano was working part time, waitressing at a small café. Now, most Japanese universities would allow adult students to work while attending school without special permission, but Ouran wasn’t just any school and demanded the best. Miss Agano certainly did not have any permission to be working there, Kyoya had checked.

                Miss Agano studied dutifully, and was certainly would not want to risk expulsion. Kyoya had his blackmail.

*

                As he had known it would be, Miss Agano’s apartment block was, shall we say, cheap. Well, perhaps not the cheapest, but it was not as… “nice” as Haruhi’s building, and using that as a frame of reference for commoner dwellings Kyoya would have assumed Miss Agano was from a very low economic background… which wasn’t true, of course, but it did make him suspicious that she was likely paying for this apartment herself. As he ascended the stairs and made for her front door (he had been sure that this was between her time at school and time for work meaning she was likely trying to get into her uniform at the moment) he quickly determined that whatever problems existed for Miss Agano, this job was likely vital to her, as were her studies.

                That did put Kyoya in a problematic position, which he contemplated as he hovered over the door buzzer. Even if Miss Agano was sufficiently threatened by him potentially revealing her part time job to the school administrators, she likely couldn’t afford to stay in even this building without every cent she saved working the hours she already did, and she likely spent the rest of her time studying. If that was the case, then she would be extremely reluctant to join the club regardless… she might consent to cutting into her study time but…

                Suddenly the door opened in front of Kyoya, interrupting his train of thought as Miss Agano stared at him, a look of horror slowly dawning over her face as she first recognised him, and then realised she was wearing a very obvious café apron and hat as she had likely intended to rush straight to work from home.

                “Y-you’re uh, Mr. Ootori from the high school, right?” Miss Agano’s eye twitched as she fidgeted in the doorway, “W-what brings you here? Sorry, ah, I need to go to… I mean this uniform is… I-I have permission!”

                “Actually, you don’t,” Kyoya said mildly, his expression neutral. Miss Agano looked at him fearfully for a second, before straightening and giving him a cool expression.

                “Fine, tell the administration, if they didn’t expect it by now then… well I should have known it couldn’t last. I have to go to work,” The girl tossed her black bangs from her eyes, slammed the door behind her and pushed rudely past Kyoya and headed for the stairs. The boy was rather taken aback by her rude manners, though he supposed he hadn’t exactly been a welcome visitor and could have been a touch more gracious…

                He contemplated chasing her, but then recalled that he knew exactly where she was going, and knew she was paid to be nice to customers.

                Kyoya found he suddenly wanted some coffee, and took up a leisurely stride as he walked toward the Usagi Café.

*

                Yoshiko felt sick to her stomach. Apparently it showed on her face, since her boss, Mrs. Fukui, had immediately asked her if she needed the day off as soon as the older lady had taken a look at her. Yoshiko needed the money more than a rest though, and assured her boss that she was ready to serve and plastered her best customer-service smile on her face. That was enough to satisfy, at least, as she quickly took to making the drinks as they were called back by the barista at the cash register, Eiko-chan.

                Going through the motions of making fancy caffeinated drinks did help to calm Yoshiko down after a while at least. But it also gave her time to think. After she had rudely brushed Ootori off, not that she could have afforded to be late to work, she couldn’t likely mend that impression to hear whatever offer he had this time. Not that it would be impossible, but it would call for being undignified and would lead to her likely having to undersell herself even knowing how much he and his club mates obviously wanted her to be a part of their club.

                Who knew why they were so obsessed with the idea of her being a Host, but even if she had been interested she honestly did not have the time. But perhaps they could have worked something out… well too late now. She had to plan for the worst case scenario. If Ootori told the administration… she could probably salvage something. Claiming ignorance of the rule would look bad given her degree, but she could also point out she had had this job before applying to the school, or pointed out that the owners were related to her mother… however distantly, and she was helping out… if they didn’t look to closely to find out how much she was working perhaps?

                And if she was expelled…

                Yoshiko’s musings were broken by a customer storming back up to her looking very angry. The tall, snobby man with a dark grey suit glared at her as though she were the scum of the earth… not that she wasn’t used to such looks, but they never would put her in a pleasant mood and she felt a twinge in her gut she hoped she could push down. She had been so good, so long without any incident, she couldn’t afford a write up…

                “Excuse me! I ordered a Mocha with half and half, and CINNAMON sprinkles, not chocolate!”

                “I’m sorry sir, it’s normally made with chocolate, I can-“

                “I don’t CARE what it’s normally made with! Does your boss know she has such an incompetent employee?”

                At this point, other customers in line were staring and Eiko-chan was looking nervously over her shoulder at well.

                Yoshiko counted to three before responding in a somewhat flat tone, “I am very sorry, sir. Would you like me to remake your beverage for you? I can upsize it, on the house if you’d like.”

                “NO! I want my money back- this is ridiculous! What kind of service is this? I WANTED CINNAMON SPRINKLES!”

                “I understand sir, if you would only wait for me to fetch my manager, she would-“

                “NO! I want my refund NOW! What kind of service is this? Why do they hire such stupid girls to work at these places? You can bet I’m going to tell my coworkers to avoid this place! And your coffee is garbage anyway!”

                Yoshiko took time during this rant to look at the prior orders on her screen. The drink hadn’t had modifiers marked in. She glanced at Eiko-chan who mouthed ‘ _he didn’t even say cinnamon_ ’ over her shoulder.

                Oh. One of THOSE people. Yoshiko settled into her stone-face while the customer ranted and raved, causing some other customers to get uncomfortable and start to leave.

                “Sir,” Yoshiko said calmly.

                “What are you, anyway? Some kind of half breed with those eyes, I bet you aren’t even really Japanese! Stupid foreigners can't understand a simple order!”

                Yoshiko clenched her fists. “SIR! I am going to have to ask you to leave now.”

                “HOW DARE YOU!”

                Another cool male voice issued from the right. “No, how dare you?”

                Yoshiko gaped to see Mr. Ootori looking at that man with the coldest expression she had ever seen.

                “This girl has offered to replace and refund your order, and you have done nothing but abuse her while she was polite enough to you. I agree the coffee here is disgusting but this is a commoner shop and I doubt your coworkers would come here anyway. I assume that _you_ come here when you want to shout abuse at people you deem lesser than you. If that’s the case, you will have to begin doing that elsewhere.”

                The man sputtered, “You PUNK! What are you trying to do?”

                Ootori shook his head and Miss Agano edged back from the counter to fill in her boss who had just returned from the office in the back and looked nervous at the quiet that had fallen over the café.

                “You are Mr. Nakano from Oshiro pharmaceuticals correct?”

                “W-what? How do you know-“

                “You have an Oshiro pen in your pocket with your name on it.”

                The man quickly covered the pen and flushed. “So what?”

                “I am Kyoya Ootori, third-born son of the Ootori family, who as you ought to know does much business with Oshiro pharmaceuticals.”

                Mr. Nakano looked a mix of murderous and terrified, and Miss Agano vaguely wished that her name still could inspire that kind of look in a person.

                “It would certainly be a shame if my father had to pull back on dealings with Oshiro, and have to inform them it was due to a bad impression made by one of their representatives.”

                “I… you…” the man was sweating now, “W-what would you have me do?”

                “I think a good start would be to apologize to the young woman trying to serve you and leave her a generous tip for her trouble. Then you should apologize to all of these people who are held up in line because of your unseemly tantrum. And then you should leave and never come back. And then, if you are lucky, my father never needs to hear about this incident.”

                Yoshiko wished she could figure out how to staple her mouth closed because she knew how gross it looked when her jaw dropped this much.

                “Y-yes, IAPOLOGIZEFORMYMISTAKE!” the man rushed out and gave a quick bow to Yoshiko before grabbing his wallet and jamming a wad of bills into the tip-jar. “IAPOLOGIZEFORWASTINGYOURTIME!” he bowed to the line, and then quickly ran from the store. There was cheering, and Mrs. Fukui hurried around the counter to give Ootori a hug. The boy seemed to take it all in good humour, and Yoshiko knew in seconds that he was the new hero of the café. He would get drinks on the house forever, get whatever he wanted….

                “Actually, there is something you can do for me,” Ootori said after Mrs. Fukui made her offers, “But I’m afraid I don’t need free drinks. If instead you could give Miss Agano a raise and the day off with pay, I will be sure to recommend this café to all of my friends.”

                Mrs. Fukui hadn’t been sure, but Ootori was able to flirt his way into things as easily as any of the host club it seemed and soon the woman had laughed and Yoshiko was numbly following Mr. Ootori out of the building with her apron and hat in her arms. Eiko-chan had caught her on the way out briefly.

                She had hissed, “Does he know you’re gay?”

                Miss Agano had nodded, still a bit shell shocked by the whole thing. He… he had to know. This couldn’t be about bumming a date. It was definitely about the host club.

                “I… really don’t have time for the host club.”

                “You do now,” Ootori said with a playful smile, “Your raised should allow you to work approximately six hours less a week, allowing an hour after school every day to dedicate to host activities. And with richer patrons that I will recommend to the Usagi Café, your tips will be larger, allowing certain days to be taken off entirely for club events.”

                Yoshiko found herself walked all the way back to her apartment building and she stared at Ootori from the bottom of the stairs. “You… thought of everything. I still don’t really want to be a host though.”

                “Yes, well, you also will get to spend time talking to Haruhi,” Ootori’s eyebrows raised knowingly as Miss Agano blushed furiously, “It’s of course up to you in the end, if nothing else it would be a fitting thanks for my help today, but if you decide to accept my offer you can come to the club room tomorrow when classes end. And if you do, I might forget the way to the administrator’s office.”

                Yoshiko growled a little under her breath. She had nearly forgotten that this boy was dangerous in his own way. Not much she could do but…

                “I want a cut of merchandise sales,” she said suddenly. Ootori looked floored.

                “You want… what?”

                “You said you turn a profit in merchandise sales. If you are selling any merchandise related to me, I want 70% of the profits.”

                Ootori made a sour face. “That’s highly unusual, and those profits go toward the club activities, not myself.”

                Yoshiko frowned. “I don’t care. Right now, yes, I will come to your club meetings and… host. But if you want me to actually put in an effort, I need more incentive.”

                Ootori twitched. “Then… 10%.”

                Yoshiko laughed hard. “Oh, really? Breaking your wallet there, hmm? 60%, I’m not going less.”

                “I’m not here to haggle. 20%.”

                “I am not going less than 50%.”

                “30%”

                “50% and I consent to pose for whatever calendars or photos you want- fully clothed,” Yoshiko amended. Mr. Ootori looked thoughtful.

                “45%, same conditions.”

                “Sold,” Yoshiko decided. That was close enough, and now she could potentially save toward buying a house once school was done with. Things were turning out better than she could have hoped when this guy had shown up at her house today.

                “Then, I look forward to doing business with you, Miss Agano.” Yoshiko didn’t know it, but Mr. Ootori was already trying to work out the best possible ways to limit her knowledge on how much her merchandise actually was making and to get around any clause in a verbal agreement.

                “And you, Mr. Ootori,” Yoshiko said politely, not mentally prepared to start worrying about getting cheated later just yet. She instead turned to start climbing the stairs, going faster the higher she got until she was able to tumble through her front door and leaned heavily against the inside. Her heart was beating very fast. Urgh, she was glad for the money, but… could she really be this… Lady Host they wanted her to be? She knew she was… attractive, she’d been told enough times. But talking to a bunch of girls… expected to make and lead conversation? To do it for an hour every day, and be… what did they expect her to be? This was… this was way too overwhelming to deal with.

                Yoshiko shucked off her shoes and put on slippers before trudging into the kitchen and making herself some tea. She hadn’t had a night off in a while, so she was going to enjoy it. Curl in a nice blanket, watch some anime, eat noodles… yes that sounded nice.

                She really, really hoped these hosts didn’t expect too much. As shocked as she was by the group of girls watching her the other day, she doubted she would keep up much business once they actually spoke to her and found out how dull she really was. Why did these complicated things have to happen to her?

 


	4. The Trials of a Host

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoshiko comes to her first day as a host, and the hosts come to realise how unprepared she really is

Yoshiko, Haruhi mused, was definitely not a natural at hosting. This was surprising in its own way, and through observing her sempai’s failings she was realising just how easily Haruhi herself had taken to the whole operation.

                But then, Haruhi had also been an unknown when she first began hosting. She had nothing to live up to, and so any tragic story of her past and a smile was enough to make the girls who requested her feel doted on and appreciated, which was all they seemed to want from her. It was kind of fun, just listening to the girls and giving them positive attention. It probably helped that she didn’t worry too much about disappointing someone, since none of the guests had expected much going to her in those first weeks anyway, and it took a while for many to begin requesting her at all.

                Yoshiko, on the stark other hand, already had a fan club. That fan club had spent the last couple of months developing their own head canons over who she was, and what she could make a girl feel if they were ever to get personal attention from her. She had been cast in a part without her consent and as it turned out, she wasn’t exactly suited to acting. Haruhi felt bad for her as she floundered on her first day.

                It had been painful for all the hosts to watch, really. The first thing that happened when she had entered the club on that day was the twins dragging her off to get fitted for a girl’s uniform, only to find that yellow was most definitely not a flattering colour on her. That said, since Kyoya had sold the club on the idea of letting Yoshiko in by telling them it would allow for Haruhi to host in women’s clothes (something that still made Haruhi cringe when she thought of it), it was insisted upon that she at least tried it for that day and then perhaps they could find some more fashionable and flattering clothes for next time. Yoshiko had looked unsure about this, and Haruhi tried to protest and say she could wear the male uniform if it made her comfortable, but Tamaki had assured the college student that this would be the best way to show the girls that she was elegant and refined, which was what they expected.

                Then, they had attacked Yoshiko’s long hair, clipping split ends, and shampooing quickly with something that was floral scented… only to have the girl start sneezing terribly from some kind of allergy and they had to wash it out quickly and go with something neutral. They then brushed it out straight down her back. Her make-up was applied and reapplied in various styles until they settled on something mostly neutral with slightly exaggerated eye liner.

                When the Host Club surrounded her, most of them called her gorgeous, tasteful, elegant, and with an air of culture. Kyoya said she was… more acceptable than she had been.

                Haruhi thought she looked very uncomfortable. She could sympathize with that, being treated like a doll by those guys was never fun by any means. That said, she also hadn’t really put up a fight, which told Haruhi that she was likely completely unsure about what she would be expected to do and was merely trusting that the hosts would know what to do with her in these circumstances.

                That had not been a good idea.

                “Alright! So, are we ready to let these eager young ladies in to see our newest Host?” Tamaki had asked with a bright grin, and Yoshiko’s face had immediately turned ashen and sweat beaded on her forehead.

                “W-wait, we’re doing this _now_? But, I thought there would be training! Or… or advice! What am I expected to do, here?” Yoshiko asked frantically, waving her hands around and looking at all of the male hosts before looking at Haruhi pleadingly. “Y-you’re the newest one, right? Is this… hosting… hard?”

                Haruhi would likely regret saying, “Not at all, just be yourself, you’ll be fine.”

                ‘Being herself’ had apparently translated into staring at the three young girls who had been sat at her table with a tight, nervous expression, cheeks turning red rapidly as the girls looked more uncomfortable.

                “So… your hair is different, and I sort of miss the boy’s uniform,” one of the girls with shoulder-length brown hair and a mole above her lip had finally said.

                “Rei-chan! I-I think Miss Agano’s new look is lovely!” said the smallish girl with curly hair and big eyes sitting beside her, “I mean, she looked wonderful before, but Miss Agano is lovely in anything!”

                “Nah, I think Tsukino’s right, she looked better before,” the girl with the puffy cheeks and narrow eyes insisted.

                “No one asked you, Ito-sempai!” the curly-haired girl insisted.

                “Whatever, Akiyama. I don’t think she’s going to talk to us anyway, it was better when she was just in the library.”

                “I…” Yoshiko’s voice hissed out and Haruhi had hoped she would defend herself. Those girls were so rude! Couldn’t they see how much she was struggling? It was her first day! “I…”

                The three girls watched as Yoshiko said ‘I’ about half a dozen more times. They were starting to edge away.

                It seemed that Tamaki had at last decided to come to the rescue.

                “DEAR MAIDENS!” he said loudly, descending on the table. “I apologize most humbly for our Lady Host. It seems you three were simply too gorgeous for her poor heart to take. And… perhaps she also has a little stage fright, this being her first day. Allow me to have a moment with her to let her collect herself, and feel free to sample some of Honey-sempai’s cakes while you’re waiting!”

                The girls looked far from protesting as Tamaki took Yoshiko’s elbow and steered her out of her chair and over to the (frankly huge) supply closet. On the way, however, he managed to snag Haruhi from her table as well despite her protests and the three sat on the floor of the closet in hunched positions.

                “I-I don’t know what happened! I just locked up! I can’t do this, I can’t be a host, this isn’t going to work!” Yoshiko insisted.

                Haruhi could see that Tamaki was at last really looking at Yoshiko. The tall girl’s eyes were huge and terrified behind her glasses, and her hands clammy where they gripped her knees. The Host King sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Haruhi got ready to cut him off if he said something foolish.

                “Well, I guess if you really feel that afraid, I won’t force you to go back out there. But you know, we already have twenty four girls requesting to spend time with you. If you don’t go back, they will all be disappointed.”

                That was obviously the wrong thing to say, and Tamaki’s solemn face took on a look of panic as Yoshiko’s eyes were suddenly wet with tears threatening to spill over.

                “I’m sorry! I’m so, so, sorry! I don’t want to disappoint anyone, especially not girls who… obviously look up to me, but I just… I get very anxious… talking to people on the fly… you know…” Yoshiko swallowed hard.

                Tamaki nodded quickly, holding out a handkerchief for her to take and wipe her face with, though this smudged her make-up. Tamaki looked at Haruhi, and Haruhi raised her eyebrows as though urging him to do something else. The blond frowned a little in thought.

                “Um, I guess just… tell the girls how beautiful they are! Tell them of your devotion, your obsession with them!”

                “S-sempai!” Haruhi protested.

                “Do you… really think that’s what they want to hear?” Yoshiko asked quietly. Tamaki nodded with enthusiasm, and she looked just a little bit less threatened. Haruhi still felt unsure though.

                Then the door to the closet opened, and Honey and Mori stepped in.

                “HARU-CHAN!” Honey cried out as he collapsed into Haruhi’s lap. She blinked in surprise.

                “Why are you two here?”

                “Honey was worried when you didn’t come back, you’ve been nearly ten minutes and the guests were distracted,” Mori explained before looking away, probably embarrassed by having spoken even that much as far as Haruhi could tell.

                “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sure the girls are getting anxious,” Haruhi said, making to stand before Honey abruptly sat up and looked at Yoshiko with wide eyes.

                “Is Yoshi-chan okay?”

                “Oh, yes!” Tamaki said quickly, Yoshiko not getting a chance to answer, “She just needed some advice on hosting, and I told her that all the girls love to hear how beautiful they are, and how devoted their handsome, or ah, beautiful, host is to them and them alone!”

                “I told her to be herself, but that didn’t seem to work…” Haruhi said in a low voice. Honey hummed thoughtfully.

                “Well, you could just ask them about themselves, that’s what Takashi does, and he has regulars. Girls like a good listener! Or you could just try a nice smile and maybe a little selfishness!”

                Haruhi looked at Honey in shock, “S-selfishness?”

                “Yeah!” Honey nodded happily, “Like, if one girl is going for the last slice of cake, but you really want it, just give her big eyes and ask for it meekly, and be happy and thank her when she gives it to you! Then she will feel good, like she did you a favour, and will assume you like her more, so she’ll keep requesting you later!”

                _‘So he’s aware of it… Honey is secretly evil,’_ Haruhi thought in shock as the door opened again, this time with twins came into the room and sat with them once they saw the formed circle.

                “So, what, are we just meeting in closets now?” Hikaru asked rudely.

                “I guess there ARE a number of girls just waiting for us to come out of the closet…” Kaoru said suggestively. Haruhi just shook her head as the twins dissolved into snickers.

                “We were giving Yoshi-chan Host advice!” Honey explained with a smile. The twins snorted.

                “Oh, that’s easy,” Kaoru said breezily, “Just act like you’re in love with your twin brother.”

                “Works like a charm!” Hikaru laughed, but then calmed as he often did. “Seriously though, everyone has their own gimmick, you just need to figure out yours. Sibling love is often a draw, and a lot of those girls out there did want you to be their Big Sister right? So maybe go for that, a sisterly-love angle.”

                “But I don’t have any siblings…” Yoshiko glanced at Haruhi, who shrugged.

                “Neither do I, but I guess Hikaru has a good suggestion, surprisingly. I guess, act like a mentor?” Haruhi said, ignoring Hikaru’s protest. (‘What do you mean, surprisingly?!’)

                “I… I guess I could do that… th-thank you, Miss Fujioka. Or uh, Mr. Fujioka? What-“

                “Haruhi is fine,” Haruhi said quickly, not wanting to waste more time with explanations just now as the host club were already getting on edge over Yoshiko’s slip.

                “Haruhi,” Yoshiko said, her smile warming ever as pink tinged her cheeks. Haruhi had to admit, she was a very pretty girl. She was sure Yoshiko would get the hang of hosting soon.

                There was a bit of silence then, when suddenly the door was flung open and Kyoya was standing looking rather murderous. All the hosts, old and new alike, jumped to their feet and had the good sense to look ashamed as Kyoya informed them that their guests were being neglected, and scuttled back to their tables to the now-upset girls to reassure them that they were still appreciated and loved guests.

                Yoshiko had to now convince three girls that… oh no. Haruhi could see that only one girl was still at the table, the one with curly hair.

                Haruhi wished she could pay more attention, but her own clients were asking her to pour more tea, and she could only hope that Yoshiko would be doing better now.

*

                Natsumi had tried, she really had, to get Miss Ito and Rei-chan to stay at the table with her to wait for Miss Agano. But Miss Ito had felt stood up by their goddess, and Rei-chan had finally said she had to go home and couldn’t just wait indefinitely. She had asked Natsumi to come with her, but she had declined the invitation. Despite the commotion, there were still many girls waiting to see Miss Agano and Natsumi had waited hours to be first in line! She couldn’t just leave, not now.

                And anyway, it was obvious to her that Miss Agano was just intimidated by her pretty friends, especially Rei-chan who always caught everyone’s attention. Hadn’t Miss Ito been the one to suggest that was what happened? She had to admit that Miss Agano looked strange in a dress with her hair down as well, but was her style really all her friends had cared about?

                Well, though it felt selfish, she did hope that with Rei-chan absent Miss Agano might find the will to talk to her if she came back. No, no, _when_ she got back. Natsumi schooled herself to sit politely with her hands clasped as she waited as ten, fifteen, nearly twenty minutes passed, all the while more hosts vanished into the closet in the corner of the room and more girls started to leave or whisper loudly about what might be happening in there. Many of those unfamiliar with Miss Agano and her fan club were making rather loud insinuations, and Natsumi flushed in anger. How dare they say such vile things about that lovely girl? If Natsumi was a foot taller she would-

                And then Mr. Ootori had gone and retrieved the hosts, and Natsumi’s breath caught again to see Yoshiko making her way toward her table again. Surely Natsumi could make her feel more at ease this time?

                “Ah, um, h-hello, um, you look lovely today,” Miss Agano managed to say as she dropped into her seat and stared at her hands.

                This was a bit strange, but Natsumi was sure she could push through! “Thank you Miss Agano! You also look extremely lovely!”

                Miss Agano finally glanced up and made eye contact and oh, those eyes were truly amazing to see up close! “You can, um, you can call my Yoshiko.”

Natsumi blushed. “Y-Yoshiko-sempai. Um, I’m Natsumi.”

“Natsumi-chan,” Miss Agano- no, Yoshiko-sempai, blushed too and… was it really because of her? “Th-thanks, um, I’m sorry for before, I made your friends leave, I was rude…”

                “No… no it’s okay!” Natsumi said hurriedly, boldly reaching across the table and placing her hand on Yoshiko’s. Then, she seemed to suddenly realise herself and flinched back, sinking low in her seat now, though she knew it was an unladylike image. “They just… got called away! But they’ll be back another day, I’m sure! And anyway, it makes sense you’d be nervous on your first day as a host.”

                Yoshiko finally seemed to have some tension leave her shoulders, and Natsumi beamed a little, happy to have eased her even a little. She actually reached forward then and took Natsumi’s hand. “Well… I was lucky enough to have such a cute and sweet little sister to cheer me up, then.” And then she smiled, looking straight into Natsumi’s eyes.

                “Oh my gosh! Are you alright, Natsumi? Natsumi-chan?” Yoshiko’s voice seemed to come from far away, but after a moment cleared and Natsumi realised she was being held in… was it Mr. Fujioka’s lap? As the twins and beloved Yoshiko-sempai looked down at her, Yoshiko with worry, the twins with something bordering on amusement. “Oh thank goodness, did I say something wrong?”

                “No… no not at all!” Natsumi said, aware her voice was dreamy in a very undignified way but unable to care with her goddess fawning over her.

                “You got a fainter, it happens,” one of the twins shrugged.

                “Kind of funny though, a girl fainting from another girl,” the other twin sniggered, only to yelp when Mr. Fujioka reached out and pinched his side.

                “Can’t you control yourself, even in front of the guests, Kaoru?” Mr. Fujioka sighed. Then he looked down at Natsumi, “Are you alright to stand up? Do you want something to drink?”

                “No… no! I’m okay, um, but maybe… maybe… Yoshiko-sempai could help me up?”

                “Of course,” Yoshiko said as though it required no consideration, and Natsumi found her hands taken in the much larger pair, finding them warm and soft as they gently lifted her to her feet. “Well, ah,” she looked over Natsumi’s head for a moment, and then bit her lip in a very endearing way. Oh, if only… “Natsumi-chan, it has been a pleasure talking with you today, but unfortunately there are many girls waiting their turn to speak to me. But I truly am grateful for your kindness and patience today. I hope you’ll consent to come and spend time with me again?”

                Natsumi didn’t have to think, “Yes! Oh, yes Yoshiko-sempai! I’d like nothing better!” Again, unable to control her longing, she threw her arms around Yoshiko’s waist and hugged her. The girl stiffened, and Natsumi suddenly felt her stomach churn. That was far too bold! How could she- but then Yoshiko-sempai was hugging her back, and everything was right with the world. Even when she was gently pushed away, she wandered into the hall in a happy daze, passing the girls waiting for their turn and oh, they looked at her jealously!

                She was definitely, DEFINITELY coming back tomorrow!

*

                “See? I told you it was easy,” Hikaru said smugly, nudging Yoshiko in the side.

                “Ouch, er, I guess,” Yoshiko said dumbly, unsure what to make of the absolute reverence that Natsumi-chan had shown her before leaving. Were all her clients going to be like that?

                “Well, we have work to get back to,” Haruhi said suddenly, and Yoshiko noticed Kyoya glaring daggers at them from across the room as well, tapping his watch. Yoshiko gulped, knowing she had to get through four more groups at least before she could go. Then she felt a touch on her arm and looked down to see Haruhi smiling at her. “Hey, good job today.”

                Yoshiko still found hosting awkward and requiring a lot of effort, but smiling for the rest of the day came easily after that.


	5. The Tragic Past of Yoshiko Agano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoshiko runs into Haruhi at the grocery store and talk a bit about their pasts.

Yoshiko was feeling much more confident these days. It had only been a few weeks since she started hosting, and she was really starting to get the hang of it. There were always certain phrases and mannerisms the girls preferred, and she had regulars, like Natsumi-chan, that had their own preferences that were easy enough to memorize and work with. She ran the sisterly-love angle well, and though she held back a lot on anything romantic and instead let the girls read into her motives. They were very good at that, and could come up with much more imaginative things for her to be thinking than she could ever voice herself. Though in addition to this reason… she sadly knew what it was to come on too strong to a girl, even one that had seemed very interested, and scared them away. She was not eager to repeat that accidentally with these girls here, many of them first year high schoolers even!

                That aside, being a host was actually beginning to affect her positively too, in that the confidence she was beginning to feel in talking to the girls in the club was bleeding over into other aspects of her life. One of the pretty girls in her Criminal Law class asked her for notes, and she had actually not only lent them to her but managed to make a small conversation about it, and got invited to a study group that met before school, which would help her studies considerably, what with all her new distractions. And work at the café was doing better too, with Yoshiko finding herself being perhaps just a bit flirty with the female customers and finding to her delighted surprise that more often than not they received it well, even blushed the few times she worked up the nerve to wink at them as she handed them their coffee. As promised, Kyoya had mentioned the café to richer cliental (though no one from Ouran, so as to lower the risk of her being recognised), and so her tips were getting larger too.

                Because of the surplus in money, Yoshiko had decided to treat herself to a bigger grocery budget than normal and planned to buy some higher quality food this time at the grocery store. She pushed the cart down each aisle with a small smile on her face, thinking about nothing too taxing as she added this and that to her pile of purchases. There was a sale on fresh fish according to the flyer she had with her, so she made her way to the back of the store where large trays of ice with whole fish lay out, waiting to be taken home, scaled, deboned and cooked.

                Of course, a sale this good meant that by the time Yoshiko got to the back, most of the best fish had been picked over. There wasn’t a lot left that looked good, but there were some half decent ones she wouldn’t mind. As she reached for what looked like the best of what remained, she felt a twinge, remembering all the delicious food she ate in her youth. That was one of her biggest regrets about turning down her parents’ request. She wouldn’t change things if she went back in time now, but she might have hesitated a little longer…

                Suddenly her fingers brushed against a smaller set of fingers, and Yoshiko startled badly.

                “AH! Oh, um… OH! H-Haruhi…”

                “Oh, hey Yoshiko, are Tamaki and the others here too?” Haruhi asked, blinking owlishly. She was dressed down today, and Yoshiko realised she had glimpsed her earlier but not recognised her. She wore an oversized t-shirt and shorts, and looked painfully adorable in them, now that Yoshiko could see her face properly. Yoshiko gulped before processing the question.

                “Why would they be here? I’m pretty sure they can afford to shop somewhere nicer than this… or get someone to shop for them I guess,” Yoshiko shrugged. Haruhi looked confused though.

                “Well yeah, but it wouldn’t be the first time they shopped at a ‘commoner’ grocery store, just for the fun of it,” Haruhi cocked her head to one side, “Sorry to make the assumption but… wouldn’t you be able to afford… ‘better’ as well?” Yoshiko flushed deeply here, and looked away as Haruhi looked even more confused. “Ah, I’m sorry, is your family going through something rough? I didn’t mean to insult you.”

                “No… no it’s okay, ah, it makes sense you’d assume that but… this is really more my budget these days,” Yoshiko laughed awkwardly, waving her flyer and grabbing a fish to package and place in her cart, not the one she had been reaching for as she was leaving that respectfully to Haruhi. “Er, you live around here? I didn’t know that.”

                “Oh, yeah, I live in the apartment block about ten minute walk east of here, the big white one.”

                “I-I see,” Yoshiko said lightly, though inside she groaned. Even the ‘commoner’ host, at Ouran on a scholarship, lived in a nicer apartment than she did… though she supposed it made sense since Haruhi likely had parents, well, a father working full time to support her and their house while Yoshiko made due with part time-“

                “Um, Yoshiko-sempai?” Yoshiko snapped to when Haruhi waved a hand in front of her face.

                “Sorry! I’m just tired, it’s Sunday so I just came from a double shift- EEK! I mean, I was just… studying! Study study! Okay, well, I’ll see you-“

                “Wait… oh wow, I just realised!” Haruhi said suddenly, slamming her fist to the palm of her other hand and Yoshiko cringed. Had she realised how far she had fallen, already? Once again, disappointed- “When I first saw you in person, I felt a small sense that I recognised you from somewhere. But I hadn’t figured out where until I saw you here, you work at the Usagi Café, don’t you?”

                “I… I…” This was it. An upstanding citizen like Haruhi wasn’t going to let this go. She would feel obligated to tell the school board about her job… unless maybe she would assume it was allowed? Still, Yoshiko could hardly deny it when Haruhi could walk into the café most evenings and prove herself right. “…yes.”

                “I thought so,” Haruhi nodded, looking satisfied and oblivious to the panic she just caused. “My dad goes there all the time, and took me once, but I don’t really care to spend money on fancy coffee when I can make plain coffee at home. You were working at the time, and when my dad was short money you gave me my coffee for free.”

                Yoshiko looked at Haruhi blankly. She had… met her before?

                “You were still in training then though, I remember your name tag said that, but I didn’t remember your name after, it was years ago though… oh, I had longer hair then, you probably don’t remember me. And my dad doesn’t really go there anymore either, since money’s been tighter lately.”

                “Um, yeah, actually I don’t remember that at all,” Yoshiko admitted, “But hey, um, I’m glad I was able to help.”

                “It’s understandable, you probably get hundreds of customers in a day,” Haruhi smiled, and it was heart stopping in cuteness. Yoshiko’s heart fluttered and she fought to keep it from showing in her face. “Hey, I’ve got everything I need, if you’re finished soon, I wouldn’t mind walking home together if we’re going in the same direction. I feel like we haven’t really gotten a chance to talk at all, between school and hosting.”

                “Y-yes! I’m done,” Yoshiko said hurriedly.

                “Great! Let’s go to the cash register then,” Haruhi said, still smiling obliviously as she pushed her cart, and Yoshiko followed behind, staring at the back of Haruhi’s head and feeling her forehead break into a nervous sweat. She lived in the opposite direction of Haruhi…. And her groceries were pretty heavy too. But how could she pass up the chance to spend more time with this beautiful young lady before her when she offered it? Yoshiko ran a hand through her hair and tried to calm down. It was… it would be fine. She could carried groceries a few extra blocks without complaint.

                Or… so she had thought, but as soon as her bags were full and in her hands she felt the plastic cutting into her fingers and wished she had the will to tell Haruhi the truth… but she would look ridiculous then.  Well… this was… this was…

                “Ow, ow, ow, ow,” Yoshiko was muttering after the first few minutes passed in silence.

                “Oh, overfilled the bags, huh?” Haruhi said sympathetically, motioning for Yoshiko to put the bags down and pulled an extra mesh grocery bag from her hands, “The reusable bags seem expensive at first, but you save yourself a lot of pain buying them if you have to walk far.” She put some of Yoshiko’s groceries in the new bag as the taller girl watched dumbly. “You can return this one at school later, we can be discreet if you prefer.”

                “That’s… great, thank you so much Haruhi!” Yoshiko said with a bright, genuine smile as she took the bags and found they didn’t cut in nearly so deeply. “You know a lot about, um, these things. I-I mean, even after three years I’m not quite used to it…”

                “Why is that, by the way? If you don’t mind me asking of course,” Haruhi asked casually, and Yoshiko hesitated. Could she trust Haruhi? Well… yes, she was a bluntly honest girl, but she most likely wouldn’t reveal her secret to anyone. And if anyone could sympathize with her plight, it would be a commoner, er, someone of lower economic foundations? Someone who knew what it was like to live like this every day.

                “Ah, no, it’s alright,” Yoshiko said and cleared her throat, “Although, it’s a bit of a longer story and… isn’t that your apartment just over there?”

                “Oh, it is. If you want to stop here for a cup of tea before you go home that’s fine, we can put your cold items in my fridge until you decide to leave.”

                “That… that sounds nice, thank you,” Yoshiko replied graciously, bowing slightly and them stumbled, catching herself. She then groaned to realise a thick strand of hair had gotten loose from her ponytail and got in her eyes, and her hands were full. She side-eyed Haruhi, wondering if it would be too forward to ask but, well Haruhi did have a lighter load… “Um, if you could-“

                Haruhi had been pulling ahead and looked back, finally seeing Yoshiko’s plight. She suddenly snorted in laughter, and Yoshiko frowned. It was a nice laugh, but she wished she didn’t have to sacrifice dignity to hear it…

                “Would you like a hand?” Haruhi asked, and Yoshiko silently nodded, bending forward slightly so Haruhi could reach up and push the offending strand behind her ear. Yoshiko realised how close their faces were and felt her cheeks tinge pink yet again. How could this one girl affect her so much, so often? And Haruhi seemed largely indifferent, merely checking to make sure the strand was secure before moving away and leading them back to her apartment. The stairs were murderous, but when they at last were inside and stowing the perishables in the fridge, Yoshiko began to relax and look around.

                “This place is nice,” Yoshiko said dully, remembering the tiny 2-room apartment waiting for her at home. She suspected, if she had ever learned to clean, it might look nicer but as it was this place was far superior. A sudden vision entered her head of living here together with Haruhi. Both of them would be lawyers, of course, and would be busy but Haruhi would keep the place clean and both of them could cook good food, and have groceries delivered, and every morning they would awake next to each other and greet each other with a good morning kiss-

                “Yoshiko-sempai?”

                “Ah! Oh, um, I was just saying this place is nice! I mean, for an apartment, you know…”

                “And… I was asking if you wanted milk or sugar in your tea.”

                “Oh,” Yoshiko laughed nervously, “Just milk, please.”

                The two sat in the two kitchen chairs and sipped tea demurely. After a moment of Haruhi looking at Yoshiko expectantly, she remembered why she had been invited inside in the first place.

                “Right! So, why I’ve been grocery shopping three years well…” Yoshiko looked away with a weird look on her face, “The short version, I guess, is that my parents disowned me.”

                “What? That’s terrible!” Haruhi said with wide eyes, and Yoshiko turned back to her, glad to see the girl looked only upset she went through such a terrible thing. “Why would they do that?”

                “Well, it sort of started at my high school, it was an overseas, all-girl high school…. I was mad at my parents for sending me to school far away from my friends, especially one of my friends at the time, Nana-chan. She had been… very important to me, and I feel like that might be why I was sent away, though sending me to an all-girl Catholic school wasn’t smart on their part,” Yoshiko laughed then, but realised Haruhi didn’t understand and felt disinclined to explain and so she merely cleared her throat again, awkwardly, speaking now to the table.

*

                _“We think you would do better to be away from Japan for a while, it might give you a chance to calm down, focus on your studies and realise what you really want your life to me.”_

_“But Daddy, what about my friends? Nana-chan-“_

_“Would also benefit from time apart,” his eyes narrowed, “You both need to realise who you are and what is expected of you. Her father would agree with me on this.”_

*

                “Anyway, so… while I was there I… sort of turned into a delinquent? In protest, I started smoking with other girls, and sneaking off campus to drink at bars… and other things… and I realised that I was… not straight… at all…” Yoshiko snuck a peek up at Haruhi, who was nodding along as though she’d said nothing strange. That was more relieving than it really should have been. After all, wasn’t Haruhi a Lady Host as well? Albeit a secret one. That was something to ask about after this.

                “So, your parents found out?”

                “Yep,” Yoshiko laughed, though inside she felt cold, reliving this now, “The principal contacted them to tell them of my… extracurricular activities and my… my girlfriend Amber, who was English… um… and they called me back to Japan immediately.”

*

_“Seriously? I send you halfway around the world to study, do you have any idea how many girls would kill for the chance at such an education? And you have squandered your future!”_

_“Why does it even MATTER, mom? You’re going to buy my way into college anyway…”_

_“You were never so outspoken before!”_

_“I… I’m sorry, but… Mother, I can make it up. In college-“_

_“You can FORGET college! Your father and I have had enough of you doing your best to shame us at every turn! As far as we are concerned, there’s only one thing you can do to redeem yourself.”_

_“I-I…” Yoshiko shuddered, “What do you mean?”_

_“The Yosuba corporation leader’s second son is looking for a wife. This would unite our businesses and bring in some real money to our family. You can hardly take over our company with such disgusting work ethic, even after all I did to make way for you, insisting a woman could handle… well. Apparently YOU are merely an airhead, this is really the only future you could have had.”_

_“MOM!”_

_“Enough! We have made our decision!”_

*

                Yoshiko sighed, stretching her legs out and then curling them back under her seat, “When I got back they said I was not allowed to get into law or… anything else and besmirch their name more than I had. They said I would either have to marry the son of the owner of another company they wanted to add to their mini-empire, or I would be disinherited and kicked out. I chose the latter, obviously.”

                Haruhi looked dumbstruck. “That’s… I can’t imagine what that must have been like. So you managed to get a scholarship to Ouran anyway?”

                “Ah, no,” Yoshiko snorted, “I was a delinquent, remember? I didn’t have very good grades. No, I dropped high school for about a year and worked at the café, got the small apartment and… I guess in some ways I resigned myself to doing that for the rest of my life. But then my grandmother died, the one on my mom’s side. Turns out she didn’t like that my dad’s family disowned me, and so left me enough money to go to university… provided I qualified to go. And… I loved my grandma,” Yoshiko sighed, “And I REALLY didn’t want to live in squalor forever. So I took up studying again, got my equivalency, and with a lot of hard work I managed to get into Ouran.”

                “Well… that’s impressive in its own way,” Haruhi said carefully, running her finger around the rim of her cup. Then she smirked, “So you’re a reformed delinquent?”

                “Yes, I don’t smoke or drink much these days, can’t afford to,” Yoshiko sighed. “But yeah, I also wanted to clean up my act in general. I did try to go back to my old Japanese friends, but they were either getting married or trying to get me to sell drugs so… well as it turns out I’m very bad at selling drugs. And… negotiating myself into people’s houses. And… yeah. To be honest, even being a delinquent was just… I’m tall and have a sort of scary face for a girl? Or I did anyway, I do when I take my glasses off… so the other more charismatic girls sort of recruited me to be… ‘muscle’ I guess. I didn’t have to talk much.”

                “That makes more sense actually,” Haruhi said, “It’s hard to think of you that way. You’re talking quite a bit now though.”

                Yoshiko blushed and looked away again. “Y-you’re easy to talk to… I guess… a-anyway,” she cleared her throat yet again, “That’s…. that’s my story I guess! What about you? I mean, disguised as a boy at school and… stuff…”

                “Oh, on the first day of school I wandered into the host club wearing… I guess boyish clothes and knocked over a vase so they made me be a host to pay off my debt, and it was easier to do that when the girls thought I was a boy. I don’t really think gender matters that much, so it didn’t matter to me if I was dressed or referred to as a boy or a girl.”

                She didn’t care? That… well given Yoshiko’s feelings that was a good sign! “So you, I mean, you like… girls… then?”

                Haruhi smiled, “Girls are cute, and fun to talk to.”

                Yoshiko hummed, letting a slightly goofy smile spread on her own face. “Yes… yes they are. So you… I mean if you’re available to-“

                “I must admit, I’m much too busy to hang out with anyone or maintain many relationships outside of work, so it’s nice to socialize during club meetings.”

                Yoshiko felt the breath of life leave her body and she sank back in her chair. Yes… of course she would be too busy. Haruhi had to study to keep her scholarship, she must be sacrificing precious study time just having this conversation. “That… yes that makes sense. Well,” Yoshiko got to her feet and headed toward the door quickly, “I need to go home now-“

                “Wait, Yoshiko!”

                “Yes?” Yoshiko asked, turning hopefully… only to see Haruhi pulling her fish from the fridge.

                “Your groceries-“

                “Right… right yes, thank you.”

                Yoshiko sheepishly gathered her bags and left, assuring Haruhi it wasn’t too far, even if it was starting to get dark.

                “No, I just live in the grey apartments back um…”

                “The grey ones? Those are… the opposite direction from the grocery store. Did… did you really go that far out of the way? You didn’t have to…”

                “No, no it’s fine! I wanted to talk to you-“

                “I can walk you home if you want? To help carry your groceries since you had trouble before…”

                Yoshiko hesitated, but knew she had to refuse. “Ah, no, it’s already getting dark, you’d have to walk home alone…”

                “So?”

                Haruhi was so brave! But Yoshiko knew she couldn’t let her be reckless. “It’s fine, I don’t mind, really. It was… nice talking to you. Y-you should drop by the café sometime!”

                “Hey, maybe I will,” Haruhi said and they shared a final smile before Yoshiko headed toward home, her mind buzzing.

                It would have been nice if it were useful things, but mostly she was just picturing making out with Haruhi, and anxiously over thinking what Haruhi meant exactly by saying she was too busy for relationships. In the end, she got home without having thought of anything helpful and that was unfortunate.

*

                Haruhi waited up late for her dad to come home, and while she was she couldn’t help feeling a tinge of worry as she wondered if Yoshiko got home alright. But, ever the practical one, Haruhi decided she would be fine and instead worked on some dinner for her father when he got home. It wouldn’t be like her to fret without good reason after all.


End file.
